A Typical Day

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* Snooze button. “I’ve GOT to change that alarm… in 8 minutes”

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* Snooze button. God damn it. Snore.

8 minutes later, guess what happens?

“How am I the ONLY ONE who hears this fucking thing?”

Tumbling down the stairs, I can feel something is not right but there is no time to figure out what it is. “Why do my feet feel weird?” I look down and think “how’d I do that?” I have on one shoe and one slipper. My pj’s are sorta tucked in my jeans, I have hair falling out of it’s clippie and Tayla complaining that her pizza is cold…

Back at home I mentally (yet absent mindedly) identify all the characters on my AHS Hotel poster that hangs above the bed. Even Peters, Wes Bentley, Angela Bassett… hound. Angela Bassetthound. Hm. I wonder what other celebrity names I could change to a breed of dog. French Stuart? French Bulldog Stuart. John Lithgow? John Lithbow-wow? Hm, that one is a stretch. Brad Pittbull. Philip Seymour Dachshund. Who else? What else? What the hell am I doing? I have to go. I’m still trying to fix my hair… (Less red, more purple) How the hell did I come home fuchsia? OMG, I can’t adult today… Time to get ready for work.

Jordan Smith. Everyone know of him? Winner of The Voice, season 9. A.MAZE.ING. When listening to him, that’s when I truly feel closer/connected to God. I consider my listening to his music my form of prayer and am having my Dodge Caliber legally declared as a mobile church. That’s a thing, right? Anyway, I was making my first delivery of the day and singing along to “Mary Did You Know”. The lyrics are in part, “Mary did you know that your baby boy would someday walk on water?” I was approaching a stoplight and I always have my phone connected for the maps/directions so what I heard when I got to the light was “Mary did you know that your baby would someday MAKE A RIGHT TURN ON 98TH STREET”. Hahahaha, I did literally LOL.

The rest of the day was very blah, like the sky but, I am grateful for that early laugh to make it a little easier.

Anything funny happen to you today? Or did you have some(one) help you get through the day a little faster?

Published by spiredone

I am what a majority of the general population would call "crazy" and at this point in my life, I wear that label with love. I am a lifelong circus act. I'm focusing on balance while learning to juggle. I write about deeply overwhelming emotions like grief and I also go out and perform stand up comedy. I am a constant work in progress, as we all are. So, join me on my journey if you'd like but respect is a must. Otherwise I'll have my elephant crush you in the center ring, under the Big Top. :) Seriously, who needs that negative shit in their life? Namaste.

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