Do we have to do this again? I mean, “we get to do this again!” That’s my pseudo adult “change is inevitable, growth is optional” part of my personality is telling me. At the soft, squishy core of me though is dread. Another 9/11. Another birthday without Natalie. Another milestone passing by the sides ofContinue reading “Again?”
Category Archives: Natalie
Needles, Pills & Alcohol -Oh My!
There is probably a reasonable explanation, I just don’t know what it is. Maybe you can help me? I use Walgreens as my pharmacy because it’s close and because I can pretty much do everything I need from the app. About a month ago, I was scrolling down my list of meds that I neededContinue reading “Needles, Pills & Alcohol -Oh My!”
Happy(?) Thanksgiving
It wasn’t a noise that woke me but the absence of sound. I fell asleep listening to Natalie’s YouTube videos, at my desk. My arms wrapped around this imitation Noah, this plastic, and cloth creation that I somehow thought would mimic the son I lost. His butt is sitting on the desk as I leaned myContinue reading “Happy(?) Thanksgiving”
Trees, Rain and Magic
There is a tree outside our house that can be seen from my bedroom window, the kitchen window and the deck. It is big, strong, healthy, beautiful tree and last week it started to don its fall attire. In one small section. Not even an eighth of its foliage had slipped into crimson colors. DandelionContinue reading “Trees, Rain and Magic”
Because I Don’t Feel Guilty Enough…
September is National Suicide Prevention and Awareness month. To honor the theme, I checked out the Netflix series exclusive: 13 Reasons Why. 13 Reasons Why starts with the voice of Hannah Baker, (Katherine Langford), detailing the 13 reasons (people) she has chosen to take her own life. This narrative takes place on 13 audio cassette tapesContinue reading “Because I Don’t Feel Guilty Enough…”
International Overdose Awareness Day
I thought I’d share the free write I did on Friday with my writing group. We started off by reading the obituary of Brian Doyle, writer and longtime contributor to The Sun magazine. If you’d like to read the beautiful tribute to Brian, click here. I felt some measure of pride hearing about how BrianContinue reading “International Overdose Awareness Day”
Sorry For the Word Vomit…
I know it’s been awhile and I know I said I was going to stop apologizing when I missed a Wednesday or Sunday post, and I am… (yes, I do know it’s Thursday) I just don’t want anyone to think I forgot about them or this blog. We moved three weeks ago. (A BIG, HUGEContinue reading “Sorry For the Word Vomit…”
Natalie’s On My Mind
I don’t know if she’s here because I’ve been thinking about her so much or I’ve been thinking so much about her that she’s here… It doesn’t matter I guess. It probably has a lot to do with the writing I’ve been doing. The sister piece last week and dealing with her loss for anotherContinue reading “Natalie’s On My Mind”
Struggling & Surviving
I know it’s been awhile. While I don’t like that it’s been so long, I am doing my best. I’m not going to make promises to do better because… I don’t want to set myself up for failure. If I can do better, I will. I don’t even remember where I left off… We didContinue reading “Struggling & Surviving”
Oh Look, More Growth (gag)
Two steps out of Darlene Merchant’s office I thought: “Why do I keep doing this to myself? Why do I keep coming here when I know it will rip me…” “Because” I interrupted “you know it helps”. I lost my argument and won, I guess. I had another Accelerated Resolution Therapy session today. It hadContinue reading “Oh Look, More Growth (gag)”
Striving For Sanity 