May 2016 – Striving For Sanity

Sweet Angel

BeautyBeyondBones My heart is heavy today*. I woke up this morning to learn that a dear friend, and radiant member of the BBB community, passed away suddenly. She had been battling against the repugnant monster that is anorexia, and it stole her life, way way too soon. She was radiant in every sense of the word: encouraging,Continue reading “Sweet Angel”

Not Today

This can’t be what breaks me… I wrote the Sunday after I lost Noah. I wrote on Mother’s Day. I wrote two days after Natalie died. And now, now I feel like there’s nothing left to write. I feel tired, spent. But, like I’ve said before, Wednesdays and Sundays- I’m going to write. Why should that stop justContinue reading “Not Today”

Mischief

Natalie singing Mischief.(She the one on the far left).

Now What?

That seems to be the question everyone has been asking. I don’t know. I’m trying to figure it out myself. I’m going through the motions, like I’m sure many people are. Yesterday, after the funeral, the bubble burst. (Yes, there HAD been a bubble!) I was in complete shock, then enraged followed by devastated… andContinue reading “Now What?”

Oh My God

I am exhausted. Completely and thoroughly. It’s not that I have so many emotions to cycle through but the main ones I am experiencing, are intense and repetitive. The funeral was this afternoon… There were so many flowers! People, cards and surprises. I’ll fill you in tomorrow but for right now, I can barely keepContinue reading “Oh My God”

Visitation Day

First off, I want to say thank you. Thank you to everyone who has read/liked/commented/shared/called and or texted to tell me that my writing about Natalie is helping them deal with her death. Tonight my God brother, Ryan, asked if the blog was helping me. I had to smile. That’s why I’m writing it. I so happy(?), grateful,Continue reading “Visitation Day”

Natalie Part 2

After I’d hung up with Justin, Don and I couldn’t get to the house fast enough. I don’t know what the urgency was about. If she’d been in a coma or had a concussion and there were still options… but there was nothing. I guess I felt like I had to rush because I wasContinue reading “Natalie Part 2”

Natalie

I wanted it to be a joke. A sick joke… Time started to slow as soon as I saw my brother’s phone number pop up on my caller ID. “Hey man, what’s up?” I answered. “Uh, are you at home right now?” He asked “No, I’m at the bank. Why?” “Um, will you be homeContinue reading “Natalie”

Then & Now

With a daughter on the verge of her 13th birthday, time has forced me to take a look at my life and take stock. I’m remembering back to when I was a kid, young adult, all the things I thought people were needlessly worrying over… Things that would NEVER be important to me. Things like:Continue reading “Then & Now”

What I Learned From My Mother

Very brave, beautiful post. BeautyBeyondBones Tammy Taylor. Carol Brady. Claire Dunphy. Marge Simpson. Claire Huxtable. Kate McCallister. Mrs. George. When it comes to movie and TV moms, we have been #blessed with all kinds. And these characters are all so lovable because we can see glimpses of our own mothers in each and every one.Continue reading “What I Learned From My Mother”