Friday morning we got our lease renewal form along with a notice from our rental company that our rent is increasing to nearly $1600.oo. “Do you want to move?” Don asked me. “To be honest, I haven’t loved the drive… to everywhere.” “I don’t want to move” he said. “Nobody WANTS to move, it’s a painContinue reading “Deja Vu in the Twilight Zone”
Category Archives: Grief & Loss
Me Time
It’s been a rough couple of days. Yesterday was the one year anniversary of losing Noah and today marks 11 months since Natalie passed. Yesterday morning I woke up with tears in my eyes and reached for “Noah” (the reborn doll) and held him. I rocked him and rubbed his back while tears silently slippedContinue reading “Me Time”
Meditation vs Rumination
via Daily Prompt: Ruminate Ruminate: to meditate on; ponder. Meditate: to engage in thought or contemplation; reflect. By their very definition, these two words look interchangeable. I’m not exactly sure what the difference is, only that for me, meditation has a positive connotation vs rumination, which I associate more with being “stuck in my head” or spinningContinue reading “Meditation vs Rumination”
(No) Doubt… Anymore!
via Daily Prompt: Doubt I’m trying on the power of positivity! This morning I was notified that it is my one year anniversary of this blog! I knew it was coming up, but not this fast… I was kind of…astounded. A whole year? Granted, this year has both flown by and drug on and onContinue reading “(No) Doubt… Anymore!”
Aware
via Daily Prompt: Aware Today’s word of the day is: Aware. Awareness. It sounds like a good thing…to be aware of things but right now, I’m thinking it’s really close to the word beware, like, too close. To be aware and present, to be mindful… it’s not all Buddhists and lotus flowers and Nirvana. It’s someContinue reading “Aware”
That Makes Sense-Finally
I had an appointment yesterday with my med provider. We talked about the usual: sleeping (um, no), appetite (eh, I guess), mood? Bad. “Are you taking your meds as prescribed?” she asked “As prescribed? Sorta. Sometimes. No, not really” I confess. I have a pharmacy that packages my pills for me now. It’s been aContinue reading “That Makes Sense-Finally”
My Christmas Miracle…and Michael Jackson!
I expected this Christmas would be hard. Almost unbearable, even. But it’s just one day. I can make it through one more day, that’s what I told myself. For some reason, I’d compartmentalized my grief to just Christmas day. I don’t know why I thought I’d be “fine” until Christmas day but it doesn’t reallyContinue reading “My Christmas Miracle…and Michael Jackson!”
6 Month Anniversary, part 2: Afterwards at Shar’s
I’d planned out the day. I knew Saturday was going to be tough. We had the service in the late morning and then I’d have some down time which I desperately need but couldn’t allow myself to have. Not Saturday. My plans to clean and write and read and journal… a mustard burp in the wind.Continue reading “6 Month Anniversary, part 2: Afterwards at Shar’s”
6 Month Anniversary, part 1: Washburn-McReavy
Yesterday was the “Service of Remembrance”, I believe it was called, at the same Washburn-McReavy where Natalie’s viewing/wake was held. I’d been dreading it, as I’m sure we all were, but the fact that it was on the 19th, the six month mark exactly, made it a must attend event. I’d expected it would beContinue reading “6 Month Anniversary, part 1: Washburn-McReavy”
The Beginning of the End?
I was getting ready to finish the blog post I started last night and it just hit me. Out of nowhere, like a ninja, grief attacked. I was going to write about politics, so maybe it’s not so bad I was derailed… but a photo of Natalie stopped me. Since the expo ended on theContinue reading “The Beginning of the End?”
Striving For Sanity 