Tonight I am finding myself at a loss for words. Exhausted, I have a million things to write about but justice would be done to none. Instead of doing less than my best, here is a free write from my Friday class.
Disclaimer! As we say in our family, towards the end, it “takes a turn”.
Things That Make Me Melt:
*When Tayla crawls into my lap and throws her arms around my neck.
*When she says “mom, do you want to see what I wrote?”.
*Most everyone on America’s Got Talent… watching the culmination of a persons dedicated and hard work summed up in a smile or a tear, receiving what I’m sure feels like the ultimate validation.
*Comedians who laugh at their own jokes.
*When one of my cats stretch themselves across my bare feet, not so subtly demanding a belly rub.
*Doggies. Especially Niles. Probably seven pounds of miniature dachshund, minus an eye. Minus my sister. My heart breaks when I think of him alone with Natalie’s body. Tenderly washing her exposed skin in desperate kisses.
I remember sitting in that conference room. The apartment building on LaSalle Ave when the medical examiner told us she’d most likely passed around 2 or 3 am that morning. Hours. Just hours we missed her by. Eight hours earlier I could have called and expected she’d answer.
I don’t know how time works for animals. I know part of him understands, like part of me understands but I can’t help but tear up whenever I see him, still searching for her, like me.